To Whom Shall We Go?

I’ve been itching to write lately. Time has flown by like it always does, and I find myself wondering where the daylight has run off to every evening. I’ve enjoyed a wonderful time with all of my family under one roof, including movie watching, sledding, and eating a lot of food. But I’ll never understand time’s ability to far outrun me, leaving me struggling to grasp for breath as I try to keep up with its quickening pace. But as mama always said, “slow and steady wins the race.” Okay, Aesop actually said that, but I’m sure my mom agrees with him.

Anyway, I set aside time tonight to write a brief trip update. I’ll just start by saying this: I don’t know when I’m leaving for London yet. We are nearing my anticipated departure date (roughly mid January) that would fulfill the 4 month internship requirement, allowing me to be back for graduation in May. There is a certain financial situation that is making the desired departure time questionable; Not out of the question completely, but questionable.

For a majority of vacation, the unknown factors of this trip, such as when I’ll be leaving, where I’ll be staying, or not knowing if I’ll ever have enough money have kept me feeling pretty intimidated by the whole thing. The whole process has felt so slow in coming. Instead of doing what planning I can, dreaming, praying, & being excited, I’ve largely allowed myself to waste my energies on worrying over things I can’t control. I knew that it wasn’t doing any good, but I didn’t know how to shake myself free from the cloud of doubt that hung over my head. Sometimes I still feel a little rain drip-dropping on my head.

But I think that I’ve come to realize that God hasn’t brought me this far for nothing. I’ve seen that God cares about the details of this process. Just when I thought fundraising was at a standstill and that not much more would be coming in, there’s been a burst of people interested in helping me get to London – some that I wouldn’t expect or think of asking help from. Not to mention, my church has recently contributed a sizable amount, which has left me speechless and humbled. Praise the Lord for His provision.

Some time last summer, I underlined these words in John 6: “After this many of his disciples turned back and no longer walked with him.” This happens just after Jesus has told his followers that He is the Son of God and that it is only through Him that there is life. The disciples that turned away doubted that what He said was true. They didn’t believe that it could be possible, because they could not envision that what they had read about the Messiah in the Scriptures would be fulfilled this way. Their plans didn’t turn out like they had expected. So they just walked away and are not mentioned again. When I underlined that initially, I knew in a very real sense that I could’ve been one of them. I’m not proud to say that I catch myself doubting a lot. I lose sight of the good that God has already done for me, and I doubt what He says to be true. I doubt that He has a plan, because the one that I have envisioned isn’t being fulfilled in the way I thought. Those disciples couldn’t see that Jesus was God’s Son, because He wasn’t what they were expecting. Their own plans ruined them, because Jesus was the Son of God. He is the Son of God.

Jesus asks the remaining twelve disciples, “Do you want to go away as well?” I want to be like Peter, who, though he wasn’t perfect and sometimes made a royal mess of things, answered with, “Lord, to whom shall we go?”

My Father is holding on tightly to me. He doesn’t let me walk too far before He calls down the road after me, saying, “Don’t you remember what I’ve done for you? Just look at what I’m doing now.” I have peace now that things will work out in God’s time; that He sees me and knows what is left in this process. I know that my initial, envisioned plan may not happen like I thought. But it’s when I hear the Father’s voice reminding me of His faithfulness, that I slow my walk on my path of doubt that I now see was leading to nowhere. That’s when all I can do is turn around, fall to my knees, and whisper, “Lord, to whom else shall I go?”

God is in this and He is providing. However, prayer continues to be important and needed. Please pray for the people of London. Pray for an awakening of hearts and minds to see the life that Christ gives, along with the purpose and hope that He offers. Please also pray for me, for two things- The first is that God would break my heart for the people of London; That I wouldn’t feel overwhelmed and lost in a busy city of 7 million people, but that I would see and love the souls around me. Secondly, please pray for boldness – to see each opportunity that God puts before me and to take it willingly, though it might be new and uncomfortable. Lastly, please pray that finances would line up. I know and have seen that money ain’t no thang with our powerful God. Nonetheless, it is a realistic, logistical thing that is needed before the work can begin. Thank you to all who have been praying and all who have helped support me. It wouldn’t be possible without you, and I’m so thankful for such a wonderful home team that is joining in this work with me. Good things are in store.

Cheers,

Becky G.

Please enjoy these pictures from break, starring my too-adorable-to-comprehend little nugget of a niece.